Suggested Format for Initial Phone Call

DO NOT MAKE THIS PHONE CALL UNLESS YOU HAVE CONVINCING PROOF THAT THE PERSON
YOU ARE ABOUT TO CALL IS THE RIGHT PERSON.

"Hello, may I please speak with _____________________?"

"My name is ___________________ and I am calling from _____________."

"I would like to talk with you about a personal matter, is this a good time
to talk?" (If not, ask when would be a a good time to call back. It may not
be convenient, there could be another person in the room and you could be
closing the door to further contact if you proceed.)

"Before I begin, I would appreciate it if you would write down my name,
address and phone number in case we get disconnected - I have been
having trouble with my phone! Do you have a piece of paper and a pencil?"

WRITE DOWN YOUR NAMNE, ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER
so you can coherently give it to the person.

"Before I proceed further, I would like to ensure that I am talking with
the right person:

	Is your full name _____________ ? (If not ask if he/she knows him/her
	and how to reach him/her)

	Using your non-identifying information as a guide, take approximately
	five questions that you know the answers to, i.e.:

	Did you live in ___PLACE______ in _______DATES______ ? (Here you 
	can ask such additional questions as: Did you go to school at ..?;
	Did you work at ..?; or other similar questions, but don't go too
	long or you'll lose or upset the person)


At this point you should begin to identify your real self, by giving
out certain information; for example, depending on your adoption
situation, you may wish to use the following or make up your own:

	a. Does the date ____Your_BirthDate____ mean anything to you?
	b. In ____Year___, I was adopted by ___NAMES____

"I have reason to believe that you are my:
  ___MOTHER/FATHER/GRADPARENT/BROTHER/SISTER___... etc. (pick one!)"

"I understand that this is a delicate matter and I want to assure you
that my intention is not to cause embarassment or trouble for you,
but this matter has been on my mind for many years and I simply need
to know information about my beginnings, plus medical and social
(i.e. alcoholism, mental illness) background."

If the person asks you how you found themn simply say that you have
been searching for a while and that it is and has been very
important to you to find them - don't tell them search information.

SCENARIO #1

If the person denies that he or she is the correct person and you
are 99.9% sure that this is the correct person proceed to Scenario #2.

"I would like to tell you something about myself." YOUR STORY (i.e.
your age now; what type of work you do; If you are married or not,
and if so what type of work your spouse does; If you have children,
how many and their sex and ages; plus other information you wish
to give this person).

"I live a comfortable life (whether this is true or not) and I want
to assure you that I have no financial designs on you whatsoever.
I would isimply like to get to know you and any brothers or sisters
I may have."

CLOSING: "May I write to you and send some photos of myself
(and family)? I would also appreciate it if you would write
to me and give me our family medical and social history."

SCENARIO #2

THIS IS TO BE USED ONLY IN THE EVENT THE PERSON DENIES HE/SHE
KNOWS OF YOU AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE INFORMATION THAT UNDENIABLY
CONNECTS THAT PERSON TO YOU

Begin as above and if the person denies at the point where you have
given enough information that he/she should know who you are, then
tell them ALL the confirming information that you have.

Then say: "I thought it appropriate that I discuss this matter with
you before I proceed to contact ____NAMES_OF_OTHER_PEOPLE____ as well
as other relatives. I understand this is very sudden and that it has
taken you by surprise, so if you wish to think about this information
and talk it over with someone else, you have my address and phone
number and I would be most pleased to hear forom you again."

GOOD LUCK and when you have completed the call,
contact your search consultant.